Hello there. This is a series I was supposed to have completed like way before my wedding but then again 4 years after my wedding isn’t too bad when it comes to keeping deadlines is it? 😉
Well, the rules are the same as before. A-Z of my life. I will write on the first word or topic that comes to mind when I think of each letter of the alphabet and as is usual with everything in Iliria, each post is going to be spontaneous and free flowing. Nothing planned or structured about it. Just straight from the heart, sans censors. I have already done A and B so now it’s C. It’s been ages since I wrote anything in Iliria so I don’t know how this is going to go but let’s get started. Who knows what part of my heart each post will shine a torch on!
‘C’ for Classes and School…
(3.20pm on a pleasant, cool Wednesday.)
“Amma I am going to school! Bye! I am going on my own to school! Bye Ammaaa..!”
I look up from the cake batter I am making, turn around and stare open mouthed at my 2.5 year old daughter who is in the hall riding her tricycle in circles waving at me as I stand in the kitchen engrossed in cooking.
She has on her shoulder one of my small sling bags, and is pretending that she is cycling away to preschool. I smile at her and wave back asking her to be careful and turn back to my batter but with my mind elsewhere.
I cannot believe how fast my little baby has grown up. She now wears and takes off her footwear on her own, dresses on her own, eats and drinks on her own, sings quite a few nursery rhymes, has become quite a chatterbox, and when in the mood for it she even tidies up her toys!
She’s all set to start Montessori school in like a week and a half. It’s a place I found after much hunting and research. Choosing a school for her was in itself such a herculean task. The words ‘school’ and ‘classes’ have taken on a whole new meaning in my life now.
I am super excited and happy that she’s moving onto the next stage of her life but then again, every time I think of coming back home to an empty house after dropping her off at school I feel this huge tangled lump of emotions in my throat.
It’s that same feeling I felt the day I gave birth to her and she left my body for the first time to become a person of her own being. The same feeling I felt when after 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding, I fed her, for the first time, with food other than my milk. The same feeling I felt when for the first time she pushed away my hand when feeding her, insisting that she eat on her own. That same feeling when she insisted for the first time that she be allowed to run around than be in my arms.
And now when she steps out from home to a whole new world for the first time, she will slowly start having a world of her own. In the place of just us and our home being her world, now it will also have her teachers, friends, school and lots more.
Oh boy it’s been such an amazing journey of ‘firsts’!
Call me paranoid and over sensitive but yeah that’s just who I am.
Then again, I guess that’s just how parenting should work. A tiny step at a time we learn to let go of them as we teach them to grow less and less dependant on us. To become independent, responsible, good hearted human beings.
As I wash my hands and clean up the mess of flour and empty egg shells from the black granite countertop, my little girl runs up to me and asks to be seated on the countertop to help me make cake. I tell her I’m done but nevertheless heed to her request. I give her some cake batter to taste and ask her if the salt and sugar are all in right proportions. She gives her approval and starts fiddling around with the muffin tray making her own version of the cake.
I sure will miss this little lady pestering me all day long with her umpteen questions and tantrums.
It’s been a roller coaster ride this far and I’m sure the show’s just getting started but really, I’d have it no other way. I have enjoyed and cherish every bit of the last few years including the sleepless nights and times I thought I’d never get things right.
Thank you God for blessing me with the opportunity to love and care for my darling every single moment, every single day right from birth, for blessing me with the ability and opportunity to work from home, for blessing me with a mother-in-law who took on the entire responsibility of the household while I cared for my newborn and most importantly, for blessing me with a partner who understands and respects the choices I make for our daughter and who is such a loving, caring, amazing Father to her.
I indeed am the luckiest, most blessed girl alive and my biggest treasure is my own little family in our own little world! 🙂 🙂